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Not that it matters...   
12:04pm 15/06/2005
  Dreamt of stealing information from Devin only to be foiled by Mahina.

Dreamt of floating across a ravine and then, trying to get back to Earth, accidentally dropping on a mother and her two young sons. I am subsequently sued with my character put on trial. I was portrayed as delusional and known to try to destroy Nature's order.

Dreamt of the last day of school in a 4-floor mall-like building. At the end of the day we all have to leave before we are trapped inside and forced to spend the night there (which didn't seem to bring any apparent danger). Unfortunately, I'm stuck on the top floor with Jen, except Jen and I are clearly still dating. I have a flashback where I was massaging her completely bare back while straddling her. Both of us have our backpacks and various items. I have my stuffed squid. Quite a few of us are trapped there, being penned in and watched by security guards. There are a lot of "tough" black kids and Jen and I are with a really puny nerd with a humongous backpack and a set of French copies of the Lord of the Ring books. Then some kids make a break for the 5th floor (none of us knew it existed) and the guards chased after them. So we all make a mad dash to escape, running through halls, running down stairs, broken escalators, and slides. At the bottom are automatic sliding doors, but guards in various vehicles were capturing escapees and bringing them back inside. Jen and I manage to escape anyway and get into her car. I feel like I dropped something, though I didn't know what.		  
     Post
 
Don Quixote rides again   
12:32am 09/06/2005
  I was praying tonight like I usually do, out in the common room, and while I was praying for a resolution to my housing matters, in walks this woman I'd never seen before... I had just walked behind her on my way to the common room, and she entered a room I thought was empty. So she turns on the lights and we start talking all politely. She even offered her hand for me to shake, which not everyone does. Her name is Katie... that name always makes me remember my huge high school crush, Katie Pulupa. She's very nice, telling me all about her class (Terrestrial Environments) and other school stuff. She brought back memories of an old roommate/fellow employee from out in San Francisco, like a more mellow version of her. And we said goodbye. And now I really want to talk to her again.

I romanticise everything to death.		  
     Post
 
Not that it matters...   
09:57pm 05/06/2005
 
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||| 33%
Stability |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Orderliness |||||||||||||| 53%
Empathy |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Interdependence |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Intellectual |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Mystical |||||||||||| 43%
Artistic |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Religious |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Hedonism || 10%
Materialism || 10%
Narcissism |||||||||||| 43%
Adventurousness |||||||||||| 50%
Work ethic |||||||||||||| 56%
Self absorbed |||||| 23%
Conflict seeking |||||| 23%
Need to dominate |||||| 30%
Romantic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Avoidant || 10%
Anti-authority |||||| 23%
Wealth |||||||||||| 43%
Dependency |||||||||| 36%
Change averse |||||||||||||||| 63%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||| 56%
Individuality |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Sexuality || 10%
Peter pan complex || 10%
Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Food indulgent |||||||||||| 50%
Histrionic |||| 16%
Paranoia |||| 16%
Vanity |||||||||| 36%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 50%
Female cliche |||||||||| 36%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
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Main Type
Overall Self
Take Free Enneagram Personality Test


Factor low score high score
Gregariousness 14% quiet, reclusive engaging, socially bold
Sociability 50% withdrawn, hidden warm, open, inviting
Assertiveness 50% timid, gunshy controlling, aggressive
Poise 74% uneasy around others socially comfortable
Leadership 62% stays in background prefers to lead
Provocativeness 66% modest, plays it safe bold, uninhibited, cocky
Self-Disclosure 62% private, contained very open and revealing
Talkativeness 30% quiet, stealthy, invisible motor mouth, loud
Group Attachment 26% loves solitude prefers to be with others
Understanding 90% insensitive, schizoid respectful, sympathetic
Warmth 86% disinterested in others supportive, helpful
Morality 78% break/ignore the rules play by the rules
Pleasantness 82% aloof or disagreeable gets along with others
Empathy 82% out of tune w/ others in tune with others
Cooperation 86% competitive, warlike agreeable, peaceful
Sympathy 90% socially inconsiderate socially conscious
Tenderness 62% cold hearted, selfish warm hearted, selfless
Nurturance 82% self pleasing, me first people pleasing, me last
Conscientiousness 78% reckless, unscheduled careful, planner
Efficiency 74% unreliable, lazy finisher, follows through
Dutifulness 58% leisurely, derelict strict, rule abiding
Purposefulness 78% inattentive, undisciplined prepared, focused
Organization 82% relaxed, oblivious detail oriented, anal
Cautiousness 82% impulsive, spendthrift restrained, cautious
Rationality 74% irrational, random direct, logical
Perfectionism 58% careless, error prone detail obsessed
Planning 74% disorganized, random scheduled, clean
Stability 90% easily frustrated calm, cool, unphased
Happiness 66% unhappy, dissatisfied self content, positive
Calmness 86% touchy, volatile even tempered, tolerant
Moderation 62% needs instant gratification easily delays gratification
Toughness 62% hypersensitive, moody thick skinned
Impulse Control 70% lacks self control maintains composure
Imperturbability 42% highly emotional emotionally contained
Cool-headedness 54% demanding, controlling accommodating
Tranquility 46% emotionally volatile emotionally neutral
Intellect 86% instinctive, non-analytical intellectual, analytical
Ingenuity 78% lacks new ideas innovative, novel
Reflection 62% unreflective, coarse art and beauty lover
Competence 86% slow to understand/think intellectual, brainy
Quickness 86% intellectually dependent intellectually independent
Introspection 86% not self reflective self searching
Creativity 78% dull headed synthesizer, iconoclast
Imagination 82% practical, realistic dreamer, unrealistic
Depth 86% lacks curiosity mental explorer


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Jung Explorer Test
Actualized type: INTJ
(who you are)
INTJ - "Mastermind". Introverted intellectual with a preference for finding certainty. A builder of systems and the applier of theoretical models. 2.1% of total population.
Preferred type: ENFJ
(who you prefer to be)
ENFJ - "Persuader". Outstanding leader of groups. Can be aggressive at helping others to be the best that they can be. 2.5% of total population.
Attraction type: INFP
(who you are attracted to)
INFP - "Questor". High capacity for caring. Emotional face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 4.4% of total population.

Take Jung Explorer Test
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Personality Disorder Test Results
Paranoid || 10%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||||| 78%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Antisocial |||||||||||| 42%
Borderline |||| 18%
Histrionic |||||| 26%
Narcissistic |||||||||| 38%
Avoidant || 10%
Dependent |||||| 22%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||| 30%
Take Free Personality Disorder Test
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Maslow Inventory Results
Physiological Needs (14%) you appear to have everything you need to survive physically.
Safety Needs (14%) you appear to have a very secure environment.
Love Needs (10%) you appear to be content with the quality of your social connections.
Esteem Needs (57%) you appear to have a medium level of skill competence.
Self-Actualization (63%) you appear to have a high level of individual development.
Take Free Maslow Inventory Test
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Locus of Control Test Results
Internal Locus (71%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by their decisions and internal drive.
External Locus (29%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by genetics, environment, fate, or other external factors.
Take Free Locus of Control Test
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Freudian Inventory Results
Oral (70%) you appear to be overly passive and dependent, wanting things to be given to you instead of working for them.
Anal (76%) you appear to be overly self controlled, organized, and possibly subservient to authority, this effectively narrows your exposure to a wider set of options and ideas lowering the odds that you will make the best decisions in life.
Phallic (10%) you appear to have negative issues regarding sexuality and/or have an uncertain sexual identity.
Latency (26%) you appear to be overly practical; don't undervalue abstract learning, abstract learning increases your ability to make good decisions (and predictions) in the real world so it would be 'impractical' to shun it.
Genital (60%) you appear to be somewhere between a progressive/openminded and regressive/closeminded outlook on life.
Take Free Freudian Inventory Test
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Eysenck's Test Results
Extraversion (42%) moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and private.
Neuroticism (13%) very low which suggests you are extremely relaxed, calm, secure, relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Psychoticism (40%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense of your own individual development (martyr complex).
Take Eysenck Personality Test (similar to EPQ-R)
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Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results
Warmth |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Intellect |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Emotional Stability |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Aggressiveness ||||||||||||||| 50%
Liveliness |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Dutifulness ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Social Assertiveness ||||||||| 30%
Sensitivity ||||||||| 26%
Paranoia ||||||||| 26%
Abstractness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Introversion ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Anxiety ||| 10%
Openmindedness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Independence |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78%
Perfectionism ||||||||||||||| 50%
Tension |||||||||||| 34%
Take Cattell 16 Factor Test (similar to 16pf)
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Withdrawn (I) 66.67% Outgoing (E) 33.33%
Imaginative (N) 60% Realistic (S) 40%
Intellectual (T) 71.43% Emotional (F) 28.57%
Organized (J) 66.67% Improvised (P) 33.33%
Your type is: INTJ
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<div align="center"> <table style="color: black; background: #eeeeee" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" bgcolor="#eeeeee"> <tr> <td bgcolor="#eeeeee"> <div align="center">Advanced Global Personality Test Results<br> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="4" bgcolor="#eeeeee"><tr> <td> <table style="color: black; background: #dddddd" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" bgcolor="#eeeeee"> <tr> <td>Extraversion</td> <td width="61">||||||||||</td> <td width="30">33%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Stability</td> <td width="61">||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">90%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Orderliness</td> <td width="61">||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">53%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Empathy</td> <td width="61">||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">83%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Interdependence</td> <td width="61">||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">76%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Intellectual</td> <td width="61">||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">76%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Mystical</td> <td width="61">||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">43%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Artistic</td> <td width="61">||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">83%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Religious</td> <td width="61">||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">90%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Hedonism</td> <td width="61">||</td> <td width="30">10%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Materialism</td> <td width="61">||</td> <td width="30">10%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Narcissism</td> <td width="61">||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">43%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Adventurousness</td> <td width="61">||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">50%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Work ethic</td> <td width="61">||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">56%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Self absorbed</td> <td width="61">||||||</td> <td width="30">23%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Conflict seeking</td> <td width="61">||||||</td> <td width="30">23%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Need to dominate</td> <td width="61">||||||</td> <td width="30">30%</td> </tr> </table> </td> <td> <table style="color: black; background: #dddddd" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" bgcolor="#dddddd"> <tr> <td>Romantic</td> <td width="61">||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">70%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Avoidant</td> <td width="61">||</td> <td width="30">10%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Anti-authority</td> <td width="61">||||||</td> <td width="30">23%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Wealth</td> <td width="61">||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">43%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Dependency</td> <td width="61">||||||||||</td> <td width="30">36%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Change averse</td> <td width="61">||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">63%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Cautiousness</td> <td width="61">||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">56%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Individuality</td> <td width="61">||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">90%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Sexuality</td> <td width="61">||</td> <td width="30">10%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Peter pan complex</td> <td width="61">||</td> <td width="30">10%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Physical security</td> <td width="61">||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">83%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Food indulgent</td> <td width="61">||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">50%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Histrionic</td> <td width="61">||||</td> <td width="30">16%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Paranoia</td> <td width="61">||||</td> <td width="30">16%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Vanity</td> <td width="61">||||||||||</td> <td width="30">36%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Hypersensitivity</td> <td width="61">||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">50%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Female cliche</td> <td width="61">||||||||||</td> <td width="30">36%</td> </tr> </table> </td> </tr> </table> </div> </td> </tr> </table> <a href="http://similarminds.com/global-adv.html">Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test</a><br><font size="1"><a href="http://similarminds.com">personality tests by similarminds.com</a></font>

<div align="center"><!-- 2.77 / 4.80 --><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" width="240"bgcolor="#e7e4e4"><tr> <td width="50%"><div align="center"> Main Type</div> </td><td><div align="center">Overall Self</div></td> </tr><tr><td width="50%"><div align="center"><img src="http://images.similarminds.com/2.gif" border="0"></div> </td><td><div align="center"><img src="http://images.similarminds.com/sospsx.gif" border="0"></div> </td></tr></table><a href="http://www.similarminds.com">Take Free Enneagram Personality Test</a></div>

<table style="color: black; background: white" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" width="630" bgcolor="white">
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#dedede">Factor</td>
<td bgcolor="#dedede"></td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#dedede">low score</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#dedede">high score</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Gregariousness</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">14%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">quiet, reclusive</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">engaging, socially bold</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Sociability</td>
<td>50%</td>
<td width="33%">withdrawn, hidden</td>
<td width="33%">warm, open, inviting</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Assertiveness</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">50%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">timid, gunshy</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">controlling, aggressive</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Poise</td>
<td>74%</td>
<td width="33%">uneasy around others</td>
<td width="33%">socially comfortable</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Leadership</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">62%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">stays in background</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">prefers to lead</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Provocativeness</td>
<td>66%</td>
<td width="33%">modest, plays it safe</td>
<td width="33%">bold, uninhibited, cocky</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Self-Disclosure</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">62%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">private, contained</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">very open and revealing</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Talkativeness</td>
<td>30%</td>
<td width="33%">quiet, stealthy, invisible</td>
<td width="33%">motor mouth, loud</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Group Attachment</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">26%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">loves solitude</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">prefers to be with others</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Understanding</td>
<td>90%</td>
<td width="33%">insensitive, schizoid</td>
<td width="33%">respectful, sympathetic</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Warmth</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">86%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">disinterested in others</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">supportive, helpful</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Morality</td>
<td>78%</td>
<td width="33%">break/ignore the rules</td>
<td width="33%">play by the rules</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Pleasantness</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">82%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">aloof or disagreeable</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">gets along with others</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Empathy</td>
<td>82%</td>
<td width="33%">out of tune w/ others</td>
<td width="33%">in tune with others</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Cooperation</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">86%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">competitive, warlike</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">agreeable, peaceful</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Sympathy</td>
<td>90%</td>
<td width="33%">socially inconsiderate</td>
<td width="33%">socially conscious</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Tenderness</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">62%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">cold hearted, selfish</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">warm hearted, selfless</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Nurturance</td>
<td>82%</td>
<td width="33%">self pleasing, me first</td>
<td width="33%">people pleasing, me last</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Conscientiousness</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">78%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">reckless, unscheduled </td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">careful, planner</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Efficiency</td>
<td>74%</td>
<td width="33%">unreliable, lazy</td>
<td width="33%">finisher, follows through</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Dutifulness</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">58%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">leisurely, derelict</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">strict, rule abiding</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Purposefulness</td>
<td>78%</td>
<td width="33%">inattentive, undisciplined</td>
<td width="33%">prepared, focused</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Organization</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">82%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">relaxed, oblivious</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">detail oriented, anal</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Cautiousness</td>
<td>82%</td>
<td width="33%">impulsive, spendthrift</td>
<td width="33%">restrained, cautious</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Rationality</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">74%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">irrational, random</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">direct, logical</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Perfectionism</td>
<td>58%</td>
<td width="33%">careless, error prone</td>
<td width="33%">detail obsessed</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Planning</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">74%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">disorganized, random</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">scheduled, clean</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Stability</td>
<td>90%</td>
<td width="33%">easily frustrated</td>
<td width="33%">calm, cool, unphased</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Happiness</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">66%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">unhappy, dissatisfied</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">self content, positive</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Calmness</td>
<td>86%</td>
<td width="33%">touchy, volatile</td>
<td width="33%">even tempered, tolerant</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Moderation</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">62%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">needs instant gratification</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">easily delays gratification</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Toughness</td>
<td>62%</td>
<td width="33%">hypersensitive, moody</td>
<td width="33%">thick skinned</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Impulse Control</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">70%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">lacks self control</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">maintains composure</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Imperturbability</td>
<td>42%</td>
<td width="33%">highly emotional</td>
<td width="33%">emotionally contained</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Cool-headedness</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">54%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">demanding, controlling</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">accommodating</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Tranquility</td>
<td>46%</td>
<td width="33%">emotionally volatile</td>
<td width="33%">emotionally neutral</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Intellect</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">86%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">instinctive, non-analytical</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">intellectual, analytical</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Ingenuity</td>
<td>78%</td>
<td width="33%">lacks new ideas</td>
<td width="33%">innovative, novel</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Reflection</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">62%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">unreflective, coarse</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">art and beauty lover</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Competence</td>
<td>86%</td>
<td width="33%">slow to understand/think</td>
<td width="33%">intellectual, brainy</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Quickness</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">86%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">intellectually dependent</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">intellectually independent</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Introspection</td>
<td>86%</td>
<td width="33%">not self reflective</td>
<td width="33%">self searching</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Creativity</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">78%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">dull headed</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">synthesizer, iconoclast</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Imagination</td>
<td>82%</td>
<td width="33%">practical, realistic</td>
<td width="33%">dreamer, unrealistic</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">Depth</td>
<td bgcolor="#eeeeee">86%</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">lacks curiosity</td>
<td width="33%" bgcolor="#eeeeee">mental explorer</td>
</tr>
</table><br>
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<center><u>Jung Explorer Test</u><br>Actualized type: <b><font size="+2">INTJ</font></b><br> <font size="-1">(who you are)</font><br> <div align="center"> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" bgcolor="#dddddd"> <tr> <td width="250"> <div align="center"> <font color="black"><b>INTJ</b> - "Mastermind". Introverted intellectual with a preference for finding certainty. A builder of systems and the applier of theoretical models. 2.1% of total population. <font></div> </td> </tr> </table> <center>Preferred type: <b><font size="+2">ENFJ</font></b><br> <font size="-1">(who you prefer to be)</font><br> <div align="center"> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" bgcolor="#dddddd"> <tr> <td width="250"> <div align="center"> <font color="black"><b>ENFJ</b> - "Persuader". Outstanding leader of groups. Can be aggressive at helping others to be the best that they can be. 2.5% of total population.<font></font></font></div> </td> </tr> </table> Attraction type: <b><font size="+2">INFP</font></b><br> </div> </center> <center> <div align="center"> <center> <font size="-1">(who you are attracted to)</font><br> <div align="center"> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" bgcolor="#dddddd"> <tr> <td width="250"> <div align="center"> <font color="black"><b>INFP</b> - "Questor". High capacity for caring. Emotional face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 4.4% of total population. <font></font></font></div> </td> </tr> </table> <br> <a href="http://similarminds.com/pref_jung.html">Take Jung Explorer Test<br> </a><font size="-1"><a href="http://similarminds.com">personality tests by similarminds.com</a></font></div>

<div align="center"> <table style="color: black; background: #eeeeee"border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2"> <tr> <td bgcolor="#eeeeee"> <div align="center"> Personality Disorder Test Results <table style="color: black; background: #dddddd"border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="4" bgcolor="#dddddd"> <tr> <td><a href="http://similarminds.com/personality_disorder_info.html#paranoid">Paranoid</a></td> <td width="50">||</td> <td width="30">10%</td> </tr> <tr> <td><a href="http://similarminds.com/personality_disorder_info.html#schizoid">Schizoid</a></td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">78%</td> </tr> <tr> <td><a href="http://similarminds.com/personality_disorder_info.html#schizotypal">Schizotypal</a></td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">86%</td> </tr> <tr> <td><a href="http://similarminds.com/personality_disorder_info.html#antisocial">Antisocial</a></td> <td width="50">||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">42%</td> </tr> <tr> <td><a href="http://similarminds.com/personality_disorder_info.html#borderline">Borderline</a></td> <td width="50">||||</td> <td width="30">18%</td> </tr> <tr> <td><a href="http://similarminds.com/personality_disorder_info.html#histrionic">Histrionic</a></td> <td width="50">||||||</td> <td width="30">26%</td> </tr> <tr> <td><a href="http://similarminds.com/personality_disorder_info.html#narcissistic">Narcissistic</a></td> <td width="50">||||||||||</td> <td width="30">38%</td> </tr> <tr> <td><a href="http://similarminds.com/personality_disorder_info.html#avoidant">Avoidant</a></td> <td width="50">||</td> <td width="30">10%</td> </tr> <tr> <td><a href="http://similarminds.com/personality_disorder_info.html#dependent">Dependent</a></td> <td width="50">||||||</td> <td width="30">22%</td> </tr> <tr> <td><a href="http://similarminds.com/personality_disorder_info.html#obsessive-compulsive"> Obsessive-Compulsive</a></td> <td width="50"> ||||||</td> <td width="30">30%</td> </tr> </table> </div> </td> </tr> </table> <a href="http://similarminds.com/personality_disorder.html"> Take Free Personality Disorder Test</a><br><font size="1"><a href="http://similarminds.com">personality tests by similarminds.com</a></font> </div>

<div align="center"> <table style="color: black; background: #999899" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" width="270"> <tr> <td style="color: black; background: #eeeeee"> <div align="center">Maslow Inventory Results</div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td><b>Physiological Needs</b> (14%) you appear to have everything you need to survive physically.<br> <b>Safety Needs</b> (14%) you appear to have a very secure environment.<br> <b>Love Needs</b> (10%) you appear to be content with the quality of your social connections.<br> <b>Esteem Needs</b> (57%) you appear to have a medium level of skill competence.<br> <b>Self-Actualization</b> (63%) you appear to have a high level of individual development.<br> </td> </tr> </table> <a href="http://similarminds.com/maslow.html">Take Free Maslow Inventory Test</a><br><font size="1"><a href="http://similarminds.com">personality tests by similarminds.com</a></font></div>

<div align="center"><table style="color: black; background: #CBCCA5" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" width="270" ><tr><td style="color: black; background: #eeeeee"><div align="center">Locus of Control Test Results</div></td></tr><tr><td><b>Internal Locus</b> (71%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by their decisions and internal drive.<br><b>External Locus</b> (29%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by genetics, environment, fate, or other external factors.<br></td></tr> </table> <a href="http://similarminds.com/locus.html">Take Free Locus of Control Test</a><br> <font size="1"><a href="http://similarminds.com">personality tests by similarminds.com</a></font></div>

<div align="center"> <table style="color: black; background: #BACABC" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" width="270"> <tr> <td style="color: black; background: #eeeeee"> <div align="center">Freudian Inventory Results</div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td><b>Oral</b> (70%) you appear to be overly passive and dependent, wanting things to be given to you instead of working for them.<br> <b>Anal</b> (76%) you appear to be overly self controlled, organized, and possibly subservient to authority, this effectively narrows your exposure to a wider set of options and ideas lowering the odds that you will make the best decisions in life.<br> <b>Phallic</b> (10%) you appear to have negative issues regarding sexuality and/or have an uncertain sexual identity.<br> <b>Latency</b> (26%) you appear to be overly practical; don't undervalue abstract learning, abstract learning increases your ability to make good decisions (and predictions) in the real world so it would be 'impractical' to shun it.<br> <b>Genital</b> (60%) you appear to be somewhere between a progressive/openminded and regressive/closeminded outlook on life.<br> </td> </tr> </table> <a href="http://similarminds.com/freud.html">Take Free Freudian Inventory Test</a><br><font size="1"><a href="http://similarminds.com">personality tests by similarminds.com</a></font></div>

<div align="center"> <table style="color: black; background: #dddddd" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" width="270"> <tr> <td style="color: black; background: #eeeeee"> <div align="center"> Eysenck's Test Results</div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td><b>Extraversion</b> (42%) moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and private.<br> <b>Neuroticism</b> (13%) very low which suggests you are extremely relaxed, calm, secure, relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.<br> <b>Psychoticism</b> (40%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense of your own individual development (martyr complex).<br> </td> </tr> </table> <a href="http://similarminds.com/eysenck.html">Take Eysenck Personality Test (similar to EPQ-R)</a><br><font size="1"><a href="http://similarminds.com">personality tests by similarminds.com</a></font></div>

<div align="center"> <table style="color: black; background: #eeeeee" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" bgcolor="#eaeaea"> <tr> <td> <div align="center"> <font color="#353535">Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results</font><br> <table style="color: black; background: #dddddd" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="4" bgcolor="#dddddd"> <tr> <td>Warmth</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">86%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Intellect</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">86%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Emotional Stability</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">86%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Aggressiveness</td> <td width="50">|||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">50%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Liveliness</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">54%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Dutifulness</td> <td width="50">|||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">62%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Social Assertiveness</td> <td width="50">|||||||||</td> <td width="30">30%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Sensitivity</td> <td width="50">|||||||||</td> <td width="30">26%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Paranoia</td> <td width="50">|||||||||</td> <td width="30">26%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Abstractness</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">86%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Introversion</td> <td width="50">|||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">66%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Anxiety</td> <td width="50">|||</td> <td width="30">10%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Openmindedness</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">90%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Independence</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">78%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Perfectionism</td> <td width="50">|||||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">50%</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Tension</td> <td width="50">||||||||||||</td> <td width="30">34%</td> </tr> </table> </div> </td> </tr> </table> <a href="http://similarminds.com/cattell-16-factor.html">Take Cattell 16 Factor Test (similar to 16pf)</a><br><font size="1"><a href="http://similarminds.com">personality tests by similarminds.com</a></font></div>

<div align="center"><!--66.67 60 71.43 66.67--> <table style="color: black; background: #eeeeee" border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0"> <tr> <td> <div align="center"> <table style="color: black; background: #dddddd" border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0"> <tr> <td> <div align="center"> Withdrawn (I) 66.67% Outgoing (E) 33.33%<br> Imaginative (N) 60% Realistic (S) 40%<br> Intellectual (T) 71.43% Emotional (F) 28.57%<br> Organized (J) 66.67% Improvised (P) 33.33%<br> </div> </td> </tr> </table> <table style="color: black; background: #eeeeee" border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0"> <tr> <td> <div align="center"> Your type is: <b><font size="+3">INTJ</font></b><br> </div> </td> </tr> </table> <table style="color: black; background: #dddddd" border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" width="100%"> <tr> <td width="280quot;> <div align="left"> You are a Planner, possible professions include - management consultant, economist, scientist, computer programmer, environmental planner, new business developer, curriculum designer, administrator, mathematician, psychologist, neurologist, biomedical researcher, strategic planner, civil engineer, intellectual properties attorney, designer, editor/art director, inventor, informational-graphics designer, financial planner, judge. </div> </td> </tr> </table> </div> </td> </tr> </table> <a href="http://similarminds.com/career.html">Take Free Career Test</a><br><font size="1"><a href="http://similarminds.com">personality tests by similarminds.com</a></font></div>
  
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12:27pm 19/05/2005
  Dreamt of watching a movie where Catherine Zeta-Jones was pretending to be Italian to seduce an Italian guy for some reason. The scenes that stick in my mind are the one where they're frolicking in a town square fountain along with a few other women and she's topless and another one where they ride down a waterfall and he cooks her a dinner. His various steps keep being interrupted by nature... for example, his grill has a snake in it which he pulls out and gets bitten by.

Actually, sitting in our own family room there are snakes in the room, including one lying on a pillow on the back of the sofa like it's watching TV. I remember a 4-headed snake somewhere in the dream too.

A newspaper with the front story about Condaleezza Rice and some guy named Jason having been shot (but only injured) and the shooter taking $1 million. Jason is apparently the inventor of Transformers, which the newspaper calls the greatest toys of all time, and the shooting was at some sort of exhibition... the cover shows shots of giant Transformer models standing around. The shooter is completely unknown but thought to perhaps have ties to terrorist organisations.

A girl who lives a few houses away on my cul-de-sac walks by with her two dogs and her dad. The huger dog loves me a lot and runs to me and we're very affectionate. The girl, a brunette I've never seen before in real life, is very attractive and nice and I want to get to know her better. She and her dad soon go, and I decide to go visit later that day, just to drop by without pretense.

This is actually a common thread in my dreams, encountering attractive young ladies (always brunettes in some form or another) I'm clearly acquainted with and slightly friends with and I want to know them better.		  
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06:10pm 18/05/2005
  I dream that tattoos are actually chains of gossamer tying us to the spiritual world. To those who have them they are visible like actual chains rising upwards into the sky. Tattoos younger than 10 months create coloured chains that can be broken, but those past that age are black and cannot be broken at all. But a woman without tattoos discovered how those with them have powers beyond those of everyone else and she discovers a sword that can slice through the chains no matter how old the tattoo, so, upon her discovery, she runs out and looks for people with tattoos and starts slicing their chains away. But someone else finds within himself a fire so hot that it would destroy the sword, so in his vehicle (a motorcycle? a convertible? I'm really not sure), with an arm outstretched, he drives straight toward the woman with the sword. Their energies collide, and the vehicle continues. The man is fine, though no longer burning. The woman, and the sword, is gone.  
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10:59am 11/05/2005
  I meet this beautiful girl. I'm not sure how, but I do. Honestly, I like her more for her looks than her personality. I like her so much that I invite her out to the movies with my dad (and one of the previews, shown at the end, is for a movie I'm in with Jackie Chan set in some sort of mythical Chinese time), and after that she comes over to my house for 3 days. My mom shows her to our room (which has a couple closets and a couple bathrooms adjoining it) and tells her the "rules" of the house. I follow up a bit later bringing up a few things including my shorts that had gone through the laundry and for some reason were on hangers. I ask my mom, who's heading down, if she's shown the beautiful girl the whole house, and she hasn't, so I decide to show the house off later.

Once up there both of us change, me in my closet and her out in the room. My closet door isn't much of a door, more like half a door with only the bottom half. I notice a book mentioning a short story on Law & Order: Halloween, which looks interesting. I open it up and try to look for the story, but all I can find in the book is a lot of essays on literature. While I'm changing my underwear and sitting on the ground, the girl walks over to my closet door and looks in, naked, which causes me to quickly cover myself by crossing my legs and putting a polo shirt over my lap. She tells me to take it off, which seems ridiculous to me. Then she opens the door and I see her fully naked; she has a penis. After showing off so much, I stand up and let her see mine. She asks me why I didn't before and I said that I thought it was some sort of romantic test, that I would be judged based on my penis. At this point she no longer has the form of someone I've never met before in real life, but instead looks like my friend Emily from college, and she has Rosie's voice.

I ask her if people normally know she's male, and she says no. She walks in while I put underwear and pants on. I ask her how long she's pretended to be female, and she responds she's been doing it her whole life. And she starts to cry. So I embrace her and ask what's wrong, and she weaves a little tale of her life, how her whole life she's pretended to be female, starting when she was 3 or 4 and listening to hip hop music that made her think she was female. She speaks really softly and uses vocabulary I don't understand... she says things like how it would be bad to be the inside of the nose or liquid in the nasal passages. I just hold her and comfort her with my words. She tells of how she used to have a lot of sex but now her liver is dying. I told her I would have sex with her if only she didn't have the STDs. Finally she puts herself together, gets dressed quickly, and we start heading downstairs. It's a long journey... the house must be 90-some floors high. The stairs spiral downwards. When we get to the bottom I see that it was Thanksgiving and my family (including extended family members) already ate and went into the living room, but there were a few food things left. My mother criticises me for taking so long engaging in Bacchanalia and not getting down before 7, so, frustrated, I walk up the steps all over again.

And I wake up.		  
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01:28am 01/05/2005
  My dreams haunt me... they're not nightmares. They're not terrifying. They're... haunting.

I still have trouble telling my dreams apart from my waking times.

What bothers me about my dreams is that I am always thrown into a world over which I have no control. It hasn't always been this way... this is a recent development. I'm thrown into worlds where I'm really not sure what's going on. I have a vague idea and I try to follow that, but that's as far as it goes. The people are familiar but the situations are not.		  
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01:05am 12/04/2005
  Her name's Rebecca.  
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05:53pm 09/04/2005
  Did a little research today. Starting to think that maybe marijuana should be legalised... not that I approve its usage by any stretch of the imagination.

If you're going with either cigarettes, alcohol, or marijuana as a long-term habit, marijuana is the least likely to kill you. Cigarettes will destroy your lungs, killing you, and alcohol will destroy your liver, killing you, but marijuana will damage certain parts of your brain, which is by no means lethal but for most people who enjoy thinking is a danger. If you're going to do one of them casually, I'd recommend drinking... cigarettes are dangerous no matter how often you're smoking them (and people rarely just smoke a cigarette every once in a while) and marijuana messes with the brain in the short term but for extended periods of time. But if you're going to have an addiction, you should go with marijuana. Generally, stay away from cigarettes.		  
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02:28am 04/04/2005
  Another development with my apartment from my dreams. I'm remembering better that it's in a building not exclusively dorms. In this last dream I crossed a library to get to it, actually. But I encountered the black woman who I had seen before in my apartment and found out she was told it was HER dorm room, too. So we were seeing the hall advisor to get that straightened out. For once I had my key. The lock was a real piece of junk... one where the key is really large. Not like comically large, like just large for a key large.

Also making cameos were Sandy, Mary, and Caitlin, all actual students at Antioch. Sandy and I were wandering around and Caitlin had come to visit me.		  
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12:36am 01/04/2005
  I met someone online tonight, named Kemi. She was romantically interested in me until I told her my position on sex. Coincidentally, she speaks Yoruba.  
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12:29am 30/03/2005
  It's like coming back to the scene of the crime... all those emotions come flooding back. Except when I realise I've lost her it simply pains me.

Dreamt my mother had a daughter 10 years before I was born. She talked nonstop and looked like my mother's oldest sister. Dyed blondish hair, very physically affectionate, excited to meet me.		  
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11:07am 27/03/2005
  The happy confusion of sleep... criminal gangs breaking through walls mysteriously, $70,000 a year colleges, theatres filling with water, chairs forbidden to be moved, Caitlin, imaginary women drifting in and out of stacks of CDs and DVDs, the library forbidden to the heretic turned detective, the underwater terminal, flying through the air and killing Nazis with lava in fantasy, exercise pads, deciding a career, the opera with a thousands costumes and dresses and wings about the light and the dark, beauty dancing in a straight line of the mind. Where is reality?  
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02:28am 20/03/2005
  I know Antioch people read this, so if you're one of them don't be insulted by this entry.

I wish I had someone at Antioch I could just open up to. None of my friends here are at a point where I can seriously emotionally open up to them. I think it hurts people that I can't be completely honest with them about how I'm feeling. Usually they can't see the pain on my face, but when they do I try to hide it. I'll say things like, "I'm tired" or "I'm ok" when I might be tired or ok on some level but really there's more going on than that. If I ever say that to you please don't delve any deeper... I'm intentionally deflecting your question. It's not a personal affront... it's that I'm not comfortable just laying myself bare. I make attempts sometimes, little attempts, but people don't want to hear. It's not that I choose a bad moment or that I'm insanely subtle or that I'm misinterpreting... it's that I actually understand how you are working on a deeper sense. I get what you can and cannot handle. I may never have words for you, but your essence is actually tangible to me.

I sound crazy, and I am.		  
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12:41am 11/03/2005
  I've been playing The Sims 2 a lot, which is interesting. I've mainly obsessively been recreating Antioch in digital form, though I've also been raising sextuplets who are now Antioch students. Really I think the game gives me complete control over a semi-fantasy world, something I cannot do in reality.

My dreams mix so oddly with reality... to the point where I'm not actually sure when I'm awake and when I'm asleep. My dream world continues to run forward in time and parallel to reality... it changes. It evolves. Events occur and the damage is done. I am not constantly reinventing but returning to the same dream world. I'm not sure how much of this I've said before, but I do have a lot of running features that are interesting and worth mentioning.

Laura's entirely family is now dead (not my fault, and it was a violent death, perhaps being shot) and my family inherited their house. It's not the house she lives in in the real world, but a twisting multi-storied mansion where I will easily get lost. Oddly enough people always seem to be coming in and out, even in the dead of night. In my last dream involving the house I got so mad that I chased them all out.

I return again and again to high school to take classes. What's worse is that the school is terribly complicated... the building is so large and there are so many paths that I will wander around for an hour simply trying to get back to where I needed to be. And still my classes are not done with.

I can fly. It doesn't have the glorious connotation of freedom one imagines with the ability to fly. Rather, I hover a short bit above the ground and if need be I can levitate higher up in the sky, often to the point where I'll lose myself (noticing a theme?) and then rapidly drop back down, though never so badly that I'm harmed. Often my flying is a way to escape danger.

I have an apartment that I never lock because I always leave my keys in it. The only way I know how to find it is by looking at my surroundings and remembering that my apartment is there. It's in a college of sorts, as I'm always passing by students and the library and other college items. Mickey used to live there, but he has since moved out. I haven't been back in a while, but a couple of black women were spending odd amounts of time there... clearly as it's unlocked they could go in and out.

Phones don't work. I'll try to dial a number and the number will come out completely differently... so differently that it cannot be dialed. No matter what the phone I have this problem.

My driving is completely reckless, but not my fault. For some reason whenever I am behind the wheel my car refuses to listen to me, and when it does it does so with a great delay. I've gotten into many accidents, sometimes horrendous, but I always turn out fine.

I'm always having troubles with pills. When I pour my morning medication into my hand I end up pouring out far too many, and the number keeps multiplying even in my hand. And occasionally I decide to overdose again and I'm right back in the hospital disoriented or I'm back in the mental hospital.

Stairs. Everywhere there are staircases, often leading nowhere known but at least somewhere else. I descend staircases very quickly... indeed, it's quite a rush. I descend quickly and knowing where I am going but when I ascend I inevitably get lost.

Fish will often appear... I'll wander through aquarium stores and watch all the fish (many of which are strange and rare, nearly all of them in fact). Or I'll be home and staring into my aquariums, populated randomly and mixing salt and fresh water fish, some dead and some alive, but always I have not been caring for them.

Lizzie splits. I see Lizzie a lot, but there is never one but many. Sometimes Francie appears too. (These are cats.)


As I said, I mix dreams and reality very often. Once I fell asleep in reality and woke up in a dream but thought I had gone the other way around and felt extremely confused when I woke up again. I do things in my dreams that I was planning to do in life or that I might possibly do and then when I'm awake I wonder what I have done and what I have not.

I'm not much for signs in dreams, but Laura's house is an interesting one... especially since I had a dream post-inheritance where I invited Rosie to visit. I'll leave the meaning up to the psychoanalyst.		  
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01:43am 06/03/2005
  Sometimes I can wrap myself in a story and then I escape it. I'll feel someone else's pain and I don't have to feel my own.

I wish I could talk to her again, but I'm no longer a friend... I'm a burden, a liability. I'm just another guy who wants her. She has so many of those... she certainly doesn't need another. To her I am no longer worth anything when once I was worth everything. I just want to say hi, just break the silence, but she doesn't want the silence broken. She preserves the silence because it's comfortable. Once I was one in a million and now I'm the 999,999 other guys.

I hate emotion. Hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it. As I am her liability emotion is my own. When I have joy I take it for granted and when I have anguish it consumes me. No amount of wishing can will it away. I've banished her... she's out of my mind, she's out of my life. Why can my heart not do the same? I'm sick of feeling this way. How was she able to do it when I cannot?		  
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10:45pm 04/03/2005
  By now Rosie seems like a mythical being, a character I made up in some elaborate fantasy, a dream I have now willed away. But the pain is still here... why?  
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12:20am 04/03/2005
  I finally finished my story, No Pretentiousness Without Pretense. If you'd like to read it just tell me.  
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12:04pm 02/03/2005
  Why is suicide so hilarious to me now? I guess once you cheat death you never quite take it seriously again.  
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10:37pm 01/03/2005
  i focus on the quiet now
and occasionally i'll fall asleep somehow
and emptiness has its solace
in that there's nothing left to take

At least medication gives me regular sleep.

"OK" has really been downgraded in quality as of late. Where it used to mean "OK", now it means "I still feel badly on a certain level but at this moment I feel no worse than my averagely bad."		  
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insanerest
 
 
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